“All my life I have had to wear masks, a mask to fit in, a mask to hide the pain, and a mask to be loved. Well no more! This is my unveiling; watch closely as it may just send you railing. Underneath is so much more beautiful than the surface you find so appealing. Deep inside there is love that is burning, a desire to be free that is so great it leaves me yearning.”
“So today I shall show you all, who I can be, Who is me!”
“I am the girl that has remained hidden, to only but a few. When I show my true self, people fall in love, believe it they do. They do not fall in love with me; they fall in love with my person For I’m true and sweet, my love is unconditional, it is forever at your feet.”
“Once my love is yours, it is yours to do with what you like. My love respects, it obeys, it listens as well as it hears, and it laughs as frequently as it tears. It’s built on a foundation of trust and like titanium it never rusts. You cannot break it, nor ever lose it, for it is something that never leaves you once you take it as yours”
“It will carry you when you are weak and catch you when you fall. When my love touches you, you know it; you will feel it and you will see it. It can knock you over, help you up, nail you to a cross or set you free. My smile is true and if I have given it to you, it is sure to change you.”
“When my masks fall away, you can see that behind them stands
a woman of caliber”
“When no one would stand for me, I stood alone! Against an army of foes with Hell only inches from my toes,. I did not cower. I have dangled off the roof top, and climbed back up”
“I am the woman, who has seen your worst and loved you anyhow. I am the woman, who has held you while you cried and stood behind you while you tried. I have held your hand and heart in mine for as long as time.”
“My masks I have broken, and with these words I have spoken. I hope that you will see me now, for who I am. Not for whom I have had to be, for she is different than me”
“I have reviled myself now that I’m safe to be free; I’m safe to be me. If you love me, then you will just accept me. Accept that today I come to you as me, not a reflection of what I used to be.”
“Take my love, know it’s complicated but, believe it is real. Please, take the woman behind the veil”
When I wake up in the morning my eyes open and suddenly I am confronted with thousands of images, each one representing a life choice that I made to bring me to today.
Today is a very important day for me, although it’s probably just an ordinary day for most of you. Today celebrates year three of my new life. In my new life, I am free from answering to anyone for anything but myself. In my new life, when I make a mistake it is only me who will ask why. In my new life, no one has the right to question me, or is entitled to answers, no one person can make me do what I don’t want to do. No persons can abuse me; no persons can use me, no persona to tell me that my best wasn't good enough.
I lived 27 years in secret and in hiding, only sharing my thoughts and feelings with myself. For 27 years I kept my true intimate desires a secret, my true identity was always hidden. I’ve lived many lives in my short life here on earth, and always with someone else beating the drum to the tune that in-which I would march. For many years I thought I would never achieve freedom from persecution, and I often felt hopeless. Years of abuse and misuse of my soul eventually took its toll.
Three years ago today I sat in my bed and cried. I felt that I had no escape. I looked out the window and longed for a day just to taste what others felt every day of their lives. I yearned to free myself from the tangled web I had weaved. Stuck at the end of what seemed like the longest tunnel I have ever seen, I suddenly decided I was getting out. I would see that light someday.
One day at a time I began to change, it started with the change of mind. With a new mind set I began to make choices that now I can hardly believe I had done.
Day after day, I silently waited for the break in the darkness just to peek at the sun. Suddenly the tunnel ended and I was in a forest of new choices. Each branch that fell in my way I pushed aside. Each tree that stood in the way of my path, I fell. Fallen trunks littered the floor of the forest when I was done.
All the boulders that always seemed like unmovable objects suddenly were but, pebbles in my shoe. Running alone threw this forest for one year remaking the scenery to appear as I like. It has not been easy I have worked 28 days out of every month, each year just to pay the bills. I have carried a child on my back this whole way, always protecting her and stopping only when she tires. Our pace has been relentless as we cut through the night, just her and me. I have slept alone and woke even lonelier, I have refused to stop for even the smallest of my pleasures like dinner or a date.
Today I know that all along I should have known what I know today. I don’t need a man, who will abuse me. I don’t need a sister that would use me, and I certainly don’t need a mother who I felt never rescued me. I need only the very beautiful things that I already have inside to provide. I know that, I am smart and beautiful and I deserve to be me. I know that although it looked scary from inside the tunnel, the forest is a much nice place to be. I know that although it has been hard, and almost seemed impossible at times, being free is worth every minute of the agony, pain and suffering I have had to endure to achieve this moment of Glory.
So if you’re alone and suffering in silence start walking down that tunnel one way or the other both ways lead out. When you reach the forest remember to stay on the path and move the objects in your way. Don’t change course, you must climb over, cut down and keep running. The beast will challenge you and try to make you cower in fear. Know that his growl is so much greater than his bite. It will hurt and you will feel pain but, it is nothing in comparison to the freedom you will gain.
